Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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