Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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