Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
this just has baby written all over it
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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