I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize