It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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