Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
