We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize