don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize