I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
