oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You have to summon your inner elephant
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You ate ashes out of my bong
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
