I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
