It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
