Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
