last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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