We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
