you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
