he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
