how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize