if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Drunk is not a location!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
