Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
