dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
