The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
This is my life. Enjoy the view
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
