My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
No stitches, just platelets and will power
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
