Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
God I need to hump something, right now.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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