There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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