Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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