what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize