coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
