Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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