Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She told me I should be a condom model.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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