just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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