so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
