is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize