By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
