dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
