this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
