sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
