your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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