I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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