I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
