Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
The air taste purple.
Randomize