how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
