don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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