He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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