mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
