you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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