their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
