I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
