I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
