Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
