I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
