And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
