what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
