so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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