If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
