I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
