I'm laying in your front yard are you home
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
