I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize