Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
