I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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