id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
