I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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